


Bad Intel

by Alltheavengersarequeer (Odddaysgeorge)



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-07 11:19:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1897104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odddaysgeorge/pseuds/Alltheavengersarequeer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <strong>Prompt:</strong>
</p>
<p>Tony has bad intel: he's completely wrong about when Clint's birthday is. Of course, this means the whole team has the same bad intel. And Clint keeps getting random gifts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Intel

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [dome_epais](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dome_epais/pseuds/dome_epais) in the [BeNiceToBarton](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/BeNiceToBarton) collection. 



> This takes place in the movieverse, but I wanted to include Kate and so I just did.

            “Hey, Tony? It’s me, Nat.”

            “Yeah, what’s up?”

            “Ugh, this is so embarrassing… I forget when Clint’s birthday is. I know it’s coming up soon because he’s started to post unsubtle hints about what to get him on Facebook, but do you have it written down somewhere?”

            “I think so, uh, just let me check my calendar… It’s next Thursday.”

            “His day off, huh? Lucky. I’ll tell everybody else… do you know how to get a hold of

Thor?”

            “Yeah, uh, I’m pretty sure he’s living with that Doctor Foster lady, I’ll send you their number.”

            “Ok. Thanks. Bye.”

            “Bye.”

* * *

 

            Kate opened the door to see a red-haired woman in a black combat suit holding a pink bag stuffed with blue tissue paper and covered with pictures of yellow balloons.

            “Oh…uh, I’m sorry,” the woman said, “I must have the wrong address. Do you know if there’s a Mr. Clint Barton living in this building?”

            “Yeah, uh, actually, this is his apartment. I’m his roommate. Long story. He’s out getting groceries, should be back soon-ish. Or maybe at midnight, depending on how many people recognize him.”

            “Well, uh, I should really be getting to work, so when Clint comes back, give him this and tell him it’s from Nat,” she handed over the bag. “Tell him he’s lucky his birthday fell on his day off.”

            “Oh… uh… okay.”

* * *

 

            “Hawkeye, I’m home!” Clint called as he stepped through the door, “Did anybody call while I was out?”

            “Yeah, uh, actually, a woman stopped by and dropped off a gift. Said her name was Nat. Didn’t you tell me your birthday was two weeks from now?”

            “I did,” Clint said, bewildered. “It is. I would’ve thought she of all people would have known that.”

            “Well, are you gonna open it?” Kate asked, gesturing to the bag.

            “Yeah, I guess,” he said, untying the ribbon on the bag’s handles.

            He pulled out the tissue paper until he got to a bright purple mask with a large “H” on the top.

            “ _Hilarious_ , Nat,” Clint muttered to himself.

            “What… _is_ that thing?”

            “Uh… inside joke.”

            “I see.”

            At that moment the doorbell rang.    

            “I’ll get it,” Kate said.

            She opened the door to see a tall, muscular man with short blond hair holding a flat box wrapped in red, white, and blue paper.

            “Oh my god… you’re…”

            “The one and only!” Steve said with a winning smile, “And you must be…”

            “Hawkeye the younger, at your service,” Kate said with a bow. “Clint, your friend Captain America’s here to see you!” she yelled.

            “Tell him to come in!” Clint yelled back.

            Steve sat down next to Clint and handed him the box.

            “Happy birthday, Clint,” he said.

            “Steve, it’s not—”

            “Well, I’d stay and watch you open it but I’d better get going. I’ve got a date in a little bit.”

            “Really? Is it that nurse across the hall you were telling me about?”

            “No, uh…it’s a _guy_ , actually. Name’s Sam Wilson. Seems to be a real good man, used to be a pilot. Look, I’ll get out of your hair now,” Steve said, standing up.

            “Bye, Steve. Good luck tonight and thanks for the gift.”

            “You’re welcome. See ya ‘round, Clint.”

            “Huh,” Kate said after Steve was out the door, “I didn’t know Captain America was into dudes.”

            “Neither did I. Let’s see what’s in the box.”

            Clint opened the box and pulled out… a Captain America t-shirt. Kate laughed.

            “I _also_ never knew Captain America had a sense of humor,” she said.

            “Well, _I_ already did,” Clint replied.   

* * *

 

            A knock came at the door. Clint opened it to see Bruce Banner standing there with a book.

            “I hope you don’t mind that I didn’t bother to wrap it,” Bruce said, handing Clint a copy of _The Zen of Archery_ , “Wrapping can be really frustrating so I decided to just skip it.”

            “Thanks, Bruce,” Clint says, “This looks like a really interesting book, but… what exactly is this _for?_ ”

            “Well, I was at this store that sells stuff for different meditation techniques and that kind of thing, and I saw this and thought of you, and I thought I’d get it for your birthday.”

            “It’s not… oh never mind. Thanks. I’ll read it as soon as I can.”

            “I’d love to stay and visit, but I have to get back to my lab. I’m in the middle of some really interesting research.”

            “Okay, you get on that. Have a good day, Bruce.”

            “You too, Clint. Happy birthday.”

* * *

 

            An incredibly loud knocking came at the door.

            “Your turn to get the door, Hawkeye,” Clint said.

            “I’m already on it, Hawkeye,” Kate replied, opening the door to see a tall, muscular man, this time with _long_ blond hair holding a small black case and standing next to a brown haired woman.

            “Clint, there’s a Norse god and some lady here to see you!” Kate yelled over her shoulder.

            “We come bearing a gift for Clint Barton for the celebration of the anniversary of his birth!” Thor announced, stepping into the apartment.

            He opened the case to reveal a golden arrow.

            “This arrow is enchanted so as to always return to its owner,” Thor explained.

            “It’s a really fascinating piece of technology,” Jane added, “The science behind it is just _incredible_.”

            “Wow,” Clint said, “So it’s sort of like a boomerang arrow, huh.”

            “Yeah, I guess you could call it that,” Jane replied.

            “Uh… Clint? Aren’t you going to tell them that—” Clint kicked Kate below the tale.

            “Tell us what?” Thor asked.

            “Nothing,” Kate replied. “Nothing at all.”

            “Well, we’d better get going,” Jane said, “We have a meeting with Doctor Banner in a little bit. Nice seeing you guys.”

            Once they had left, Kate spoke up. “Why would you want an arrow to come back to you?” Kate asked.

            “Hey!” Clint said. “It’s a great gift. Very thoughtful of them.”

* * *

 

            The doorbell rang. Kate and Clint both went to the door. Clint looked through the peephole to see Tony Stark, and cautiously opened the door.

            “Hey, Cl—who’s the kid?” Tony asked.

            “That’s Kate, she’s my…er…apprentice. Long story.”

            “Also, I’m twenty-one years old, so, _not_ a kid.”

            “You’re a kid,” Tony and Clint said simultaneously.

            “So what brings you over here?” Clint asked.

            “I came to wish you a happy birthday,” Tony said, handing him a small box.

            “Tony. My birthday is two weeks from now.”

            “ _Really?”_

            “Yes.”

            “But it’s on a Thursday, right?”

            “Yes.”

            “Hah! I _knew_ it was on your day off. Must’ve entered it in my calendar wrong.”

            “So… do you want this back?” Clint said, referring to the box.

            “No, you might as well go ahead and open it.”

            Clint opened the box and pulled out a digital watch.

            “It’s got lots of cool features. Here, let me show you…”

* * *

 

            When Tony had finally left, Kate handed Clint a box.

            “I was going to wait until your birthday, but I guess you might as well have it now,” Kate said.

            Clint opened it and pulled out… another watch.

            “A watch? Really?” he said.

            “Not _just_ a watch. An _expensive_ watch.”

            “Tony also got me an expensive watch.”

            “Yes, but _he_ got you an expensive _digital_ watch, whereas _I_ got you an expensive _analog_ watch. You can wear one on each hand.”

            “Thanks, Kate, I love it,” he said, kissing her on the side of the head. “You know, there is one person that never stopped by today.”

            “Who’s that?”

            “Fury.”

            “ _Nick_ Fury? Your _boss?_ Is it really that much of a surprise that _he_ didn’t get you anything?”

            “Believe it or not, he’s a surprisingly warm-hearted man. Last year he got me a fruit basket.”

            “Hah! Maybe you should call him.”

            “You know what? I think I will.”

            “This had better be important,” Fury said as he answered the phone.

            “Oh... uh… Clint here. I can call back later if this is a bad time.”

            “No it’s fine. What do you want, Barton?”

            “I’m just calling to ask if you forgot my birthday.”

            “ I didn’t _forget_ your birthday, Barton; I just _remembered_ that it isn’t until two weeks from now.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment with any advice you may have on how to improve my writing. Thanks for reading!


End file.
